It has been quite some time since I’ve touched this, yet not a day (nor hour) has passed without it being right there in my mind. Just at 2 years ago, I knew there was a bigger purpose that had to happen from my life. Someone else who may need to know (Like me) they were not alone in this season. What I failed to realize is that I couldn’t just start there and be effective. I would need to dig deeper than even those thoughts and ideas to the core my own being and existence. So, fearfully, I just..didn’t.
I started to stumble on the building blocks of what I wanted to accomplish only to see them continue to crumble and fade with the passing hours that seemed like wisps of air passing through. Where was the time going?
Business was growing, flowing, and doing quite well. I had extra help at home every few weeks. My kids were healthy and doing well in school and ‘naggies’ (this is what the littlest calls gymnastics). And usually once every 2 months or so, we went on a date and often got out with other couples and families.
Do you notice the order here? Work, kids, marriage. Aside from being badly prioritized, there was nothing at all me.
Just like the 26 individual built-in shelves in my living room wall (1 not so large wall) call for me to put something or multiple things on each space, so has my life. I freed up house work, but filled it with work or work social–not date nights, family game nights at home, or much less self care. I became so exhausted coffee made me sleepy. I didn’t want to play with my kids..not even sitting in the floor. Luckily, my husband is a saint and has been just as busy so we didn’t fall completely apart.
Through this year since switching to this platform, I have kept notes and recordings of many of the thoughts I didn’t take time to write for this blog. Recently finding a few, they aren’t pretty, but I intend to share them because they were real and raw. This short post, is just the very top surface of re-engagement. In the coming weeks and months, I intend fully to organize these into posts and share them here. Remember–it’s not pretty, but I’m noticing some differences..good and bad. Its not over, but I hope you subscribe or invite someone to that might need to hear my words. Changing the high places and finding the quiet spaces has been a difficult, yet rewarding spiritual journey to embark on.
Thank you for reading!
KC
